Its official

I took a test on Wednesday, Nov the 15th. Although I have been aware, I was just afraid to to take a test. I was able to help my sister Katherine  move this weekend. I am not going to lie it was bitter sweet. I may or may not have cried for a bit after I drove away. This is probably just my hormones talking. But in all seriousness it was a security blanket to know she was not too far away. I am so excited for her family, and for the exciting new opportunities that lie ahead for them.  They will be missed. Maybe one day we can all live close. My Mom, sister Kelly, and her darling little boy were there. It was fun to be around my family. My sister Kelly is expecting. I wanted to tell her so bad. But fear has the best of me. I am so excited our babies will be so close in age!! Knowing she was expecting made me take the plunge, and get a test. I was able to be excited knowing she was expecting. I took that test, and got  butterflies in my stomach. It is real. I am not sure if I am ready. More than anything I am ready for a sweet little spirit. But, I am not ready for the anticipation. Jeff told me I should go to the doctor. I know he is right, but I am so fearful. So insecure. I told him I wanted to go to a new Dr’s office. He laughed, because we love our doctor. That office will always have memories. Right now I do not know if I am ready to face them. We figure this little spirit will be here sometime in August. In all honesty I would not mind waiting until a week before to announce! I am sure it will be sooner, but this is why I want to jot my thoughts down here. I do not want to not celebrate this pregnancy. I do not want to forget. I think this pregnancy will be a lot more intimate. I may or may not post this. I just want to start a journal of this journey!! I have been sick. I have yet to throw up, but at times I wish I would. The sickness this time is odd. It is not morning or night. It is mid day!! So strange. My energy level is negative. Which is so weird! I really did not get this with Sadie. So I just assumed I would have energy. My house is definitely feeling my negative energy…..along with Jeff’s dirty socks and garments!! Oh dear. I hope this stage passes quickly. Today I am guilty of snuggling with my girls all morning, and watching Sesame Street, and Thumbelina. There was house work to be done, but I could not convince myself to do it. I am finally dressed, I even brushed my hair. I think I am ready to tackle some cleaning!!!