Payback

Dear Sydney & Sadie,
We love you oh so very. very. very much. You are so near, and dear to our hearts. Tonight, after you were suppose to be tucked in your bed. Your father came inside, and claimed he smelt root-beer. I thought it odd, and moved on with my life. Your father likes to get to the bottom of things. So, off he went, to locate this "root-beer" sent. Perhaps he hoped it was truly root-beer. To my dismay he called my name. Not, the typical nik name "hers", but AMANDA. I knew this could only mean trouble. As I braced myself to climb up those stairs, my stomach was touching my toes. Because, you my two darlings were suppose to be as snug as a bug. I reached the first step, and ah, what was that smell wafting by?! It was in no way root-beer. It was minty fresh. So minty fresh in fact my eyes began to burn. I wished it was root-beer, but to my horror my instinct was correct. It was minty fresh toothpaste, beautifully finger painted all along the walls. The walls were not the only place, you had decided to let your art so shine. Door knobs, doors, and oh Heaven forbid you forget your toys. As your father, and I sit here holding back the tears ( that toothpaste was worse than an onion) we decided that one day, there would be payback. Oh it will be sweet, and pretty pretty neat. We chuckle and think of all of the possibilities we could do to your new house! That puts a smile on our faces, and we continue to scrub. So here is to you my two precious girls. You have been warned!

Mom Fail

Today I got a call from a lady in my ward. Her daughter is in Sydney's Sunbeam class. This little girl is the youngest, by a lot of years. In fact as of yesterday this little girl became an aunt. Sydney loves everyone, and is super easy going. This little girl has really taken a liking to our Sydney. This little girls mom called, to ask if Sydney could play. I always take in account Sadie. I know, they need space. It is just hard for me to have them seperate. As long as they are together I feel safe. So I suggested this little girl come over to our house. I was planning on filling up our little pool. It would work out perfect. Now, here comes my weirdness. I have worked so hard to keep Sydney as innocent as possible. Even at this young age I see so much cattiness in girls. I know I can not "protect" her forever. Yet, I still hope to encourage her to stay humble, and care free as long as I can. Now this little girl being the youngest by so much, obviously has been influneced by adults. Which in a blunt way of saying, this girl has sass. Now I know I am being judgemental, and I know I sound like a stuck up person. But my family is so important to me. I want success for us, and I know how crucial these first few years are. 
So when this little girls mom called, I decided then, and there to let it go. I let my guard down. This little girl came over, I was still in my running clothes. So I told my girls to go take their friend to see our kitties. We had a cat adopt us, and ended up having kittens in our horse trailor! Although we have no clue what to do with them, we have just learned to love them. The girls enjoy visiting them, and picking them up. Now, they are not gentle by any means. We have lots of talks about being soft to the kitties. 
I thought they would do no harm. So off they went, and up I went to change. As I was changing, I looked out my window. To my horror I saw the little girl dunking one of the kittens in the horse's water. I was horrified. I than saw Sadie do the same thing. My window was open, so I let them have it. After I changed I went to go see what was going on. As I walked outside, I saw Sydney. She had one of the kitty's, and was covering her with dirt. This poor cat was soaking, and terrified. When I first approached the cat, I thought it was dead!!! My heart sank, and I could not believe my eyes. I rescued the cat, and to my dismay I found Sadie, and the little girl doing same to another kitty. I felt sick. I am aware that they are just children, and that they do not comprehend the seriousness of their actions. But I would have hoped my girls would have knew better. I scooped theses poor kitties up, and rushed them into my house. I wrapped them in a towel, and said a prayer. Now, I understand they are just cats, but I guess a baby is a baby to me. The mom kicked in, and I was able to get them stable, and back to their mom. I sent Syd, and Sadie to their room, and had their friend sit on our couch. I could not get through to Syd, and Sadie, they were pretty shaken up that they could have killed the kitties. So I talked to their friend. I asked what happened. She informed me the kitties were dirty,and needed a bath. I was so disappointed in my girls. When this little girls mom came, I told her what happened. She was so sorry, and explained that her daughter was pretty rough with their cat's. When they left I could not get the sick feeling out of my stomach. I know my kids are not innocent, and are just as much guilty. But I cannot help, but wish I had stuck closer to them. Honestly, I don't want my girls to get too close to this little girl. I wish I could just move on, but I feel so sad. I don't know how I am going to explain to this mom, that my girls can't play. I just feel so defeated. Their are so many things I feel I have to do as a mom. I want them to be the best they can be. Everywhere I go there is a "better" way to feed your kid, parent, teach, or nurture. It just gets so overwhelming. I thought I was doing alright until today. Obviously I failed some where. I thought being a teen was hard. No one ever told me just how hard motherhood is. I try so hard to do what works for my family. I do good for a period of time. Then BAM, I try and keep up with all the trends. It is like walking into the end of a movie you really wanted to see, and you cover your ears, and close your eyes, all to uncover your ears just in time to hear the last line, and the entire movie is ruined.  I do it for so long, and then I fall into the trap. My goal as a mother is to be content. Not envious, or attempting to keep up with the "cool moms".  Instagram, and facebook, are great to have at times, but majority of the time I spend just looking at all the cute things other moms are doing. Then, deep down I feel guilty for not being more creative, or fun with my kids. I want it to stop. More than anything I just want my girls to have a good life, and have a testimony.  I have to find a balance. Although I want to just head for the hills with my family, I know their has to be a happy medium. Somehow I have got to stop comparing, and focus on my girls.

Blessings

Blessings. My life is so good. I can look back on my days, and remember the hard times. Amongst all the bad, there is the good. The good, out weighs the bad, every time. I am currently in the primary presidency. When I first received this calling, I was beyond nervous. As time has gone on. Nerves, have subsided,(until I have to teach, and I still stammer and stumble like a fool) and I am finding I am learning so much from these little souls. We have an amazing music director. She has worked so hard to get the children, to not only know the words, but to actually know what they are singing. Junior primary will sing, but majority of the time, it is just loud mumbling! So last Sunday, we were practicing the song we are going to sing for Fathers Day. The Sister arranged, God gave us families, and I so glad when daddy comes home. The kids had been more rumbustious, than usual, and we all were prepared for a hard singing time. Surprisingly, they were singing amazing. She asked the kids to sing it one more time. The children sang, their hearts out. Every word was pronounced, and ever cue was followed. Words cannot describe the spirit in that room. I promise, there were angles singing along with our children. The room was spiritually shaking. Just as the music instructor began to tear up, we all realized, all the leaders were crying! The little kids were confused as to why we were crying! I know this the singing instructor, has been praying for this. It was such a beautiful thing to see, and feel that our Heavenly Father, truly does answer prayers.
Living far away from a grocery store is not always easy. Wednesday is the day I take the girls into town, and we do splash pad, library, and do all of our shopping. Well this Wednseday was hard. Shopping was a disaster, and I was so quick to get out of there, that I forgot milk!! We have cereal, for at least one meal. So this was a big issue. After unloading, and realizing I had forgot milk. I started to think how I would be able to go back and get milk. A little later on, our door bell rang. It was our neighbor. Her kids were out of town, and she needed to get rid of some milk! I could not believe my eyes. I was blown away. Heavenly Father answered a quiet desire of my heart. 
I am learning, and striving daily to be content. This can be a hard thing to do. I admit I struggle. But I will continue to strive to be happy, with where I am. My children are healthy, we own a home, my husband has a job, and I get to stay home! Just typing that makes me wonder why I ever desire more!!

My baby turned 4, where does time go!?

It just feels like yesterday, I had a feeling something was up. After work Jeff, and I stopped after work to grab a pregnancy test. I can still remember, and feel the excitement, and nervousness I felt all at once. As I sat on the toilet, and prepared to pee on this life changing stick. Time stood still. Those next few moments changed my life. We were prepared to wait a few minutes, but two red lines popped up instantly. We were as shocked as could be. Happiness triumphed fear, and we never looked back...Until now. 4 amazing,life changing, YEARS later. I feel like I have not even had a chance to stop and take a breath. Time is slipping through my fingers, like an hour glass filled with sand. There is no stopping, the constant changing of time. At times this overwhelms me, and I get anxiety thinking about not having enough TIME. My sweet Sydney girl has helped me, more than ever really gain a true testimony of families for eternity. Although this time cannot be stopped, it can be extended. Oh what peace that brings to my soul. Sydney is such a special girl, and amazes me daily. I learn, and grow from her daily. Her presence in our family is essential to who our family is. Sydney never ceases to amaze me. She has the best memory. We can be doing a daily task, and out of no where Sydney will say "mama, do you member when.....". Some of these things I hardly remember. This year Sydney became a big sister, yet again. Her transition to Scarlett has been beautiful. Even with Sadie, there was never any jealously. Sydney has loved Scarlett, since the day we told her we were expecting. When Sydney ran into the hospital to meet squeaks for the first time. Time slowed down. Sydney KNEW Scarlett. To this day she will tell you all about Scarlett's birth. Sydney is pretty darn particular. If any one knows me, knows I am NOT particular. Must be a curse  blessing from her father! So at times I find myself arguing with my 3 yr old, over which way you put your shoes on. Sweet little girl, is so smart. Sydney LOVES. She loves with all of her heart. Although Sadie can be rough, Sydney rarely fights back. At times I want Sydney just to lay it on Sadie, but Sydney never does. I have been so blessed to have mothered this sweet soul for 4 years!!! Sydney is one of the reasons I breath. She so precious to me.

 4 year pics are yet to come!!

Highlights of this year!

Sydney Became a big sister again!!

She discovered she has super powers

She became a sun beam

Biggest owie, in yr 3

First, and last diy hair cut.

Conference Picnic

 A new tradition in our home we has begun,it is a conference picnic. This occurs after the 1st session of Conference on Sunday morning. Now my original plan was to go watch General Conference at the church, and then have a picnic. But Utah had to rain on my parade. General Conference is not shown in stake centers here. CRAZY..right?! So we made do, and watched conference at home, and after we headed over to the mabin. The pond was just filled up. So it was the perfect place to picnic(Besides the wind, and my husband  wanted to eat in the car, who does that) I love my family. In moments of distress, and crying I wonder what have I gotten myself into. Then Sydney says "mama Scarlett is perfect", or Sadie says "don't worry mama daddy will shock them". Then all the selfish thoughts of "why me" turned into a silent prayer of gratitude. 99.9% of the time my children have snotty nose's,  stains on their clothes, and dirt under their nails. Their hair that was once done, is way to easily turned into a tangled mess. But under that all their, is smiles on their faces. They will not have the nicest clothes, or have the best toys, and I can guarantee they will not always look "perfect". But they are perfect to me. I am blessed to stay home, and have all my focus on them . Our needs are met, and WE ARE BLESSED.

Sadie...need I say more

********DISCLOSURE******

This post is out of control, and wildly funny. Hence the title.

I have this little girl. She is ridiculously out of control, and hilarious at the same time. Majority of the time I can laugh this little girls attitude and spunk of. BUT, there are days moments, when even I, her mother lose my cool. This little ball of energy was sent to torture bless with all of the joy I ever brought my mother (my dear mother, in hind sight I can understand why my mother had a conniption when I snuck out of bed.) 

The joy from this firecracker is indescribable. At the end of the day I am exhausted, but as I think back about Sadie I can't  help but get a smile on my face. Although after the smile, is usually the thought about tomorrow. With this is brought the shear terror of having to do it all over again!!! Oh, but how blessed am I, to have a tomorrow?! So I have listed a few days/moments of my encounters with Sadie. I have to document, to ensure people I am not making this stuff up. There is no way I could make this up....

Jeff and had all the girls tucked in. Jammies were on, teeth were brushed, and stories were read. No more needed to be said, they were off to bed. That is unless, you have a SADIE! Jeff and I were watching a show downstairs, and heard slight movement upstairs. Nothing that sounded like attention was needed. After our show was over we were off to bed. As I climbed upstairs, the thought of all my girls sleeping was so comforting. Until I reached the top step, and with horror I realized the girls light had been turned on! I was sure I was going to find a stage 3 disaster, toilet flooded, Sadie sitting on Sydney. So I dreadfully walked to their door. To my surprise, this is what awaited me!! Don't ask me how, or why. All I do know is the light was on, jammies were off. Yet they were both sound asleep.

Sadie is many things. Exhibitionist..perhaps, determined for sure! This child of mine, see's what she wants, and will find a way. This is a perfect example. Jeff stashes those tasty Cafe Rio mints up here. Apparently someone had been watching him. I walked in to my closet to find a half naked Sadie, helping herself to some tasty mints.

Have no fear big sister Sadie is here!! Let me just tell you, she LOVES to be there. Poor Squeaks on the other hand is left to endure. Sadie is my baby monitor  for Squeaks. Daily, thanks to this girl I get a play by play, on just what our Squeaks is up to. Majority of the time Sadie will drag her by the arm, or foot, to report to me her findings.

Sadie Loves this man! He is her BEST friend. Whenever we go over to "Grandpa Chickens" house, he is not allowed out of sight. Every once in a while, he will sneak out of her sight. But shoes, or no shoes, goat heads, or bugs, Sadie will walk down to the chicken coop, where Grandpa is sure to be. She is determined, and knows what she likes, and who she likes.

A good way to tell if Sadie is in a good mood , is by her hair. If you will look at exhibit A (Posted above) You will See happy hair done Sadie

Now exhibit B(Posted above) Hair undone, and on the verge of a crazed break down! You best watch out when her hair is undid

If you are in need of a good laugh. Sadie is your best bet. The latest thing out of her mouth is, "Mama, when I get bigger I gonna get married, and then and then I will have a baby in my belly".  As her mother I hope that the baby is born at least 10 months after them being married!!

This little girl of mine rocks my world. She brings so much, joy, and frustration to my life. My days without her would be quite, but not near as entertaining. I know Sadie was so anxious to get to earth to be reunited with her sister.

A trampoline, some girls, and their favorite guy

So for Christmas I somehow convinced Jeff to get the girls a trampoline. I knew this would be my saving grace. It has been just that. The girls love it. They play on it constantly, even though it has been cold. Sadie will go out, and quickly return. Insisting that in order to jump they need a snack. In order to keep the peace (and my sanity) I comply. That settles that, and they are gone. Even if it is only for 5 minutes. Well along with this trampoline my girls also have THE best dad ever. Ya, he is pretty great. When Jeff comes home, he always feeds the horse. The girls tag along with him, and they usually can convince him to come jump on the trampoline.

Bum check (like mother like daughter)

Does anyone know how I can flip these pictures?! They are save correctly on my comp, but com up like this