@import url(http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Sue+Ellen+Francisco); We'll look back someday, and I'll look at you and say "and I thought I loved you then": Trouble In Paradise

His & Her = two

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Trouble In Paradise

Okay, so I hope that no body gets the wrong impression from this post. I love my daughter I really really do. I am just finally having a break down. Sadie is almost a year old, and she is still an extremely hard baby. Thankfully for those who have watched her, she has been good. Than again, it makes me wonder, even more why she acts this way with me. People have said, "you just need to put her down so she can cry it out". Trust me I have done this....always. There have been days when she will literally cry for hours at a time, because I have to get things done. She really will cry for hours. No exaggeration. You would think after a while her throat would start to hurt, or that she would realize she is fine. Yet, she does not. Instead she just goes on and on, and on. We thought it would get better when she started crawling, but that has not happened. Instead of being content crawling around, she just follows me and cries. So in Some aspects it is even harder. Where I could get a moment of peace before, that is harder to get. Sadie will crawl into the room, I am in sit down, rock, and cry. Food will sometimes calm her down. That unfortunately is not always the case. I was so blessed with Sydney. She was such an easy baby. I think that has been the hardest part. I have done nothing different, so I am confused as to why Sadie is this way. Sadie will cry until I hold her, and the moment I do if I sit down she freaks out. Her crying literally takes everything out of me. My housework, and being a good wife has gone down hill. By the time I have a minute without her, I just want to relax. Doing household chores is that much harder with a screaming child. Doing things one handed is fine, but it takes 10x longer. Jeff can be so patient with her. But I don't think he fully gets the extent of the toll her crying does to me. It is sad, but Sydney will now tell Sadie to stop crying. She even gets annoyed with it. I am so lucky to have a healthy baby. I love that I can make everything better. But lately it has been especially hard. Has anyone ever experienced this? Any tips on how to deal with this better. I know I can handle this, I have been doing it since the nurses handed her to me. The nurses even said " you have a princess on your hands". I guess I should have headed the warning, but I guess I was holding onto hope that was not the case. I love Sadie so much, and I want to be the best mom I can. I need to figure out how to handle this better. Any tips would be much appreciated!! Sadie does have her good days, but those seem to come few and in between.


  1. Amanda my dear, my sweet, my lovely....I feel your Pain!!! Haha. I just sat down to google how often a 4 month old should be napping. Then I was like hmmm...maybe I should look at Amanda's blog. Sounds like you and me are at a similar place. I can totally relate to these comments,
    "My housework, and being a good wife has gone down hill."
    "Jeff can be so patient with her. But I don't think he fully gets the extent of the toll her crying does to me. "
    I become a nasty person when I am sleep deprived and at my witts end. If Joe looks at me the wrong way ...well you get the picture. Poor Joe!
    Last night he encouraged me to take some Nyquil because I couldn't sleep after one of Hyrum's crying spells. And I totally did! Man, I was desperate.
    Taylor Swift's song keep running through my head "Today was a fairytale" only I change the words to "today wasn't a fairytale, I wore some pjs; you wore a spit-up stained tshirt. You told me I looked tired and I stomped on your foot; today wasn't a fairytale."
    Oh wow, I'm trying to have a sense of humor about all of this. If I don't laugh, than I will cry right along with him (and I have).
    These babies are so precious and i feel bad sometimes when I feel so frustrated. Reading your post reminded me that this is some of the hardest work we will ever do but it is also the most important and most precious.
    I don't have any advise for you, but I wish I could reach through the computer and hug you. I will be saying so many prayers for you and little Sadie. I know it'll get better. Last night I had a dream about Hyrum. He was a toddler and I was well rested and happy. I think it was Heavenly Fathers way of telling me that it will get better. You are seriously an amazing woman. I look up to you. This will pass. In the meantime, I will pray that you get some good advise that works! xoxoxoxo Kelly

  2. I loved your post Amanda and Kelly's comment was something I needed to hear. You both demonstrate what it means to be a mother, and a good one at that!
    Amanda I am so glad you posted this. It is ok to talk about the hard things and get some support. If I did not complain to and have my daily chats with my mom I would probably be crazy (well more crazy than I am).
    I do not have the answer and could list off a bunch of things to try...but I bet you have tried a lot already. What I do want to tell you instead though is what a special mother you are. Those girls were sent into your home to be your daughters and because they needed you to be their mom. No one else. You know what is best for your children and if anyone can figure it out you will.
    I am truly sorry to hear things have been so hard with Sadie, and so hard for so long. That is so difficult! I remember when Des struggled every night for the first several months of his life. I fluctuated between wanting to kill someone, guilt, and sadness. It was hard as hell. Luckily he grew out of it, but I can empathize with the helpless and frustrated feelings you must be feeling. My dear sister I am sorry. Know you are loved.