@import url(http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Sue+Ellen+Francisco); We'll look back someday, and I'll look at you and say "and I thought I loved you then": The spirit who was missed

His & Her = two

Saturday, July 16, 2016

The spirit who was missed

I usually get pregnant quick. I mean we are talking 3 pregnancies in 3 years. Sadly one of those was not a full term pregnancy, but a pregnancy none the less. Even after baby number three I got pregnant 2 months later. After Scarlett things changed. My period did not return for almost 2 years after Scarlett was born. No period sounds amazing, right?! Well let me tell you it was not so great. In fact it was strange. What was even stranger was the feelings I was getting about having a baby. I knew pretty soon after Scarlett that there was another sweet spirit waiting to come down to earth. As the months went on my patience was wearing thin. I literally ached I missed this baby so much. I cried many nights to Heavenly Father begging to help me understand what was happening. There came a point that I actually was starting to think I was done having kids. My time had ended. The only thing keeping some inkling of hope was my huge ache in my heart that I had for this sweet spirit. It was a hard time, because there were not too many I felt opening up to , about my concerns. I mean I had three healthy girls, and 1 angel boy. Some people cannot even get pregnant with one. But here I was fretting over another.  Looking back I understand the purpose, and I really am grateful for the time I had to struggle. Although I would never wish it upon anyone, or am I trying to claim I truly understand the sorrow those who struggle with infertility go through.But I can say I had a taste. My heart breaks even more for those who are struggling with infertility. 

After a while I decided I should take matters into my own hands. With no period I really had no clue what my ovulation schedule was. So I went to this amazing lady who does foot zoning. It was a amazing experience. As she went over the part on my foot that reflects the uterus. We both heard a loud crunching sound. We both looked at each other, and she informed me there was some sort of build up preventing me from ovulating. About a week later I had a period! I got pregnant very soon after that. My joy was tangible. I was so very thankful for this opportunity I had to meet this sweet little baby that I had been longing to hold and kiss once more. This pregnancy truly allowed me realize just how miraculous pregnancy is. Although I was chasing 3 other crazy girls, and more exhausted than I had ever been. I was so thankful, so joyful. Finally this spirit and I would be reunited!

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